Divorce

In most of my acquaintances here in Italy, I came across a number of married filipinos who are separated and are living with someone who is not their lawful husbands or wives. With the stand of the Church against divorce, it is sometimes hard to smile when I am with them.

However, listening to their stories, one can sometimes say that there seems to be reasons why divorce should be allowed. Wife-battering, adultery, irresponsibility, infedelity, and the like are just some of the causes they mentioned.

In our Gospel today, Jesus said, " ...what God has joined together, no human being must separate." This is a statement of Jesus against divorce. This is the most quoted text in the Bible why the Church cannot allow divorce. Divorce is a legal cessation of a valid marriage. The church can only allow annulment and legal separation. Annulment is only a declaration that no valid marriage happened. Legal separation is meant for unreconcilable differences among couples who are validly married in the Church and cannot live under one roof anymore. There is a hope that their differences can be patched up after sometime. Since they have a valid marriage, they cannot remarry as long as their spouses are alive.

The Church is accused of being unsympathetic, without compassion, and out-of-date. Unsympathetic to those who wanted to remarry. Without compassion to those who are physically and emotionally abused spouse. Out-of-date, for most of the countries except Malta, Philippines and the Vatican allow some forms of divorce at this modern times.

I believe Love is the essential element in marriage. Love can make things possible. If Mother Theresa can stay with the sick people, if Maximilian Kolbe can give his life for another person, there is no reason to choose being separated from someone that you know and pledge to love "till death do us part." LOve is not a feeling, it is a decision. To love is a decision that we make, it is not a feeling to maintain. Our feelings may change towards the other, but our decision to love the other is a life-time commitment. I believe that it is the absence of love that make couples choose divorce.

Jesus is so passionate against divorce, because he believes that a man and woman who become one in love and joined by God can surpass the hardest of times. "Whoever can accept this ought to accept this."